Process of Progress in PRYDE

Judy Liu, PRYDE Scholar

I have Thalassophobia, which means I have a fear of deep bodies of water. This does not come from a fear of drowning, but rather from fear of being alone and surrounded by nothing but miles and miles of unknown. The week school shut down in March felt like that- like I was stranded at sea and afloat, but paralyzed. Ironically, this fear is also a reflection of my old relationship with the idea of progress. About a year ago, I pictured progress as walking on a tightrope across an ocean. I knew it was supposed to be difficult, and although I was to do it alone, the path in my head was well traveled, and I took comfort in that. That being said, any deviation from the path would send me plunging toward the thrashing water below: cue Thalassophobia. However, my experiences with PRYDE this summer have completely changed my definition of progress from a narrow perspective characterized by individual milestones in a straight line towards graduation to a fluid outlook marked by failures, constant reevaluation, and collaboration.

I used to think progress meant continuous and rapid success. This changed after my mentor, Professor Tamar Kushnir, gave me the opportunity to design surveys, collect data, and work on my leadership skills by leading a team of undergraduate Research Assistants (RAs). My first survey draft would have taken participants 40 minutes to complete – far too long! Not only this, but I arrived at my first data collection site with uncharged cameras and no idea on how to explain consent forms to the program supervisor. My first IRB amendment submission for my summer project took the majority of the summer to get approved, leaving me no time to actually collect data. The lovely RAs I work with can recount countless stories of when I overcommunicated and other moments when I did not make things clear enough. As you can see, I’ve messed up. A lot. These “failures” in my lab taught me that failing is much like shooting a bow and arrow: pulling the arrow backwards is necessary to propel it forward. In this way, failing is actually one of the best signs that progress is being made.

Before PRYDE, progress to me was an individual journey towards a predetermined destination. My amazing cohort blew this belief out of the water. They have taught me that collaboration and intentional inquisition is a huge part of the process. Without the dauntless curiosity of my peers, I would not have pushed myself to question the areas that PRYDE as a program can grow or believe that we have enough influence to start that change. This summer, my cohort engaged in conversations to identify the gaps and variations in our PRYDE experiences as well as our goals for the following year. What emerged from those dialogues was a unanimous need for community and communication development.

From my peers, I have learned how to be more aware of communication styles and the importance of establishing community agreements early on. Together, we have made significant progress towards community building within PRYDE by establishing the framework for social media platforms, a mentorship program, and even program merchandise with each structure serving a different function. The social media platforms are a space to highlight the work and voices of individual PRYDE scholars as well as to connect multiple generations of cohorts over time. The goal of the mentorship program is to create a deeper connection between the research and class components of PRYDE by allowing current members of PRYDE to spend time with one another outside of those contexts. Finally, the development and distribution of merchandise is meant to amplify a sense of belonging and identity in PRYDE, with the added benefit of increasing the visibility of PRYDE across all communities on and outside of Cornell’s campus.

My collective experience through PRYDE has taught me that progress means understanding the value of shared knowledge and accepting that projects might be left unfinished when I leave. As an avid check-lister, this was the hardest pill for me to swallow, especially because I was drawn to the application-oriented approach of translational research. I wanted to hit the ground running, ready to implement my dream youth development program immediately. However, I’m learning that a stronger impact can be made by reflecting, critiquing, and building upon the work of those that came before us. Readings and class discussions gave me a foundation for translational research and clarified flaws in my thought processes. Similarly, our community building endeavors were inspired from the efforts of the cohort before us, and we’ll even be continuing their Nearest Neighbor project this coming fall as an example of translational research requiring long-term collaborative planning and application. By embracing all forms of progress made before us, we are able to gain access to a shared base of knowledge that is not limited to the insights of each cohort, but extends to the alumni network, faculty, and entire existing database of literature on youth development.

It is now day who-knows of the pandemic, and I still find myself feeling lost and displaced at sea. However, in times of uncertainty, this virtue of progress I learned from PRYDE has been my life jacket. PRYDE has taught me that progress rarely happens at a constant pace, in a forward direction, or without pause. Instead, most moments will feel messy, unpredictable, and exhausting. There will be times when multiple breaks are necessary, and deadlines are irrelevant. There will be other times when the gravity of accountability will outweigh all other priorities. All of these fluctuations are a part of the process of progress. Learning about those nuances, both in relation to translational research and with broader applications to life, is what PRYDE is all about.